Wednesday, December 12, 2007

A Puff of white smoke from the Magic Dragon

Anybody who lives abroad and has regular dealings with consulates knows very well how frustrating the experience can be. If bureaucracy is heavy in the country of origins, it's guaranteed that in the respective consulate it has the specific gravity of lead. Not to mention all the other national defects that for whatever reason when exported abroad become worse (It's not my place, who cares?), and when concentrated in a public and happy island like the consulate they reach maximum potential. In the Italian Embassy in Dublin they put Catarella to answer the phones so that to whoever calls, my country introduces itself with an individual that doesn't speak either Italian or English, when in a good mood he grunts, when God forbid you find him in a bad mood he showers you with insults: "For f*** sake, who the f*** is it now? Can't you leave me in peace today?"

The Chinese consulate doesn't seem any better. Located in Dublin, it doesn't accept visa applications by post, you should go there in person to apply and the go back 5 working days later to collect the passport. They concede to use a courier, which is the solutions we chose: cost 100E, plus 130E for the visas.

Because of the money involved, we wanted to be double sure that the documents we wanted to send were ok, so about a month ago we started to try and inform ourselves by phone. On their website they give the opening times to the public and the ones when they answer the phones. No matter how many times we tried though nobody came to answer our calls. After a week of no luck, Brendan sent an email with a list of our documentation, details of flights and itinerary, asking if it was enough to get our visas. They answered within minutes with a clear yes. So we sent our courier and after ten days with no answer I asked Brendan: "Still no news from the Chinese consulate? The five days are up."
"Don't worry, maybe it takes a bit longer, you'll see that...SHIT!!"
"WHAT?!"
"I forgot to include pictures!"

We sent an email profusely apologizing for the oversight, telling them we put the pictures in the post that day and asking them to please join them with the application they received nearly two weeks previously.
Red Dragon: "Bring pictures when you came to collect passports. Mon-Thurs 9 to 12."
Green Shamrock: "Thanks for the suggestion, but it will be a courier to collect the passports, can't we send the pictures in the post and then collect by courier?"
Red Dragon: "We don't accept applications by post."
Green Shamrock: "The application is not by post, it's just the pictures. You already received the application by courier, can you please accept the pictures by post?"
SILENCE...PLEASE...SILENCE...PLEASE, PLEASE...
Green Shamrock: "Tell me now if you are going to accept the damn pictures by post or I have to come to Dublin to bring them myself!"
Red Dragon: "Give pictures to person who comes to collect the passports."
Green Shamrock: "Who comes to collect the passports is a courier who already charged me 50e to bring you the application and 50 to collect the visas! If I bring him the pictures now he is going to charge me another 50!! Can't you please put together the pictures that now surely have with the application you've had for the last 2 weeks??"

SILENCE

Finally Brendan sent another email starting again with the apologies and politely explaining that we needed an answer straight away because if they insisted in receiving the pictures directly one of us had to get on a plane and bring them to Dublin as it was cheaper then sending a courier (God Bless Ryanair!).

With money coming into the equation we find a way to communicate and finally they empathize with our problem: "Brendan, this is incredible! I thought much cheaper sending pictures by courier! As you already have put them in the post it's ok."
An hour later we got an email to say that the the visas were ready.

1 comment:

Andrew said...

Ther was a song in the sixties called "Puff the Magic Dragon" - by who I can't remeber. We happily sung it in primary school with our teacher Mister O'Brian. Some years later I discovered that the song was about smoking opium: or puffing the "Magic Dragon" - ah such innocent times.