[Original Blog Entry Friday December 28 by Letizia. Translated by Brendan. ]
...this is what I say to myself, looking at the suitcases more or less packed, the panic rising in my chest and asking myself whose idea was this in the first place? (Brendan answers: look in the mirror). Two hard suitcases of 20kg each and two rucksacks - one 6kg and the other even more. All as expected. The girls have their schoolbags containing some texts, a Nintendo DS, and little else. It might not seem much for four people and 8 months, but it's a lot to drag around the planet and across the equator. With the money we're going to spend on this trip we could have got a really beautiful attic, finished in wood and with its own bathroom.
The Christmas tree came down on the 26th and we've spent the last two days preparing the house for our guests from New Zealand who get here in April. It was like moving house: we got rid of a lot of useless junk in order to make room in the wardrobes and drawers. The rubbish bin is full, along with the recycling bin, and two charity bags full of clothes and toys are ready to be placed outside the front door. As a result, my head is clearer. The more I get rid of clutter, kept only for the sake of nostalgia, the more my mind feels free of fear or confusion, leaving space for new ideas, energy and enthusiasm. We feel like we're at the beginning of a new phase and we're curious to see where it will bring us. We tell each other, mostly joking, that if after the 8 months we manage to come back on the same flight, there's a good chance of us staying together for at least another 10 years.
Sara is doing the round of the neighbourhood, saying goodbye to her friends (John just called me on the phone to say that they will feed her - I'm such a bad mother!). She hasn't decided whether Piccolana the raindeer or Pernod the cat will go into her backpack, but in any case she's happy to be leaving. I swing from panic to mystical calm with the bags when, as ever, I realise that I can't change the laws of physics and square the packing circle: " I don't give a f**k. One way or another, everything will work out." Brendan appears serene - he's clearly more evolved a being than I as he arrives at mystical calm skipping the panic stage. Nina is the hardest to read. At times she's excited about our departure, but most of the time she stubbornly refuses to acknowledge it, not looking for her friends, watching TV in her pyjamas. I can't tell if this is her way of hiding her unease, or if she's really as calm as her father. Yesterday I told her to choose a few books to bring with her, and she replied "No mamma, I'll just bring the Harry Potter that I'm reading now. We can pick the others up as we go". That's the spirit! That's my girl!
This evening we'll say goodbye to friends and relations in Steve and Liz's house, where we and anyone who wants to come and see us off have been invited to dinner. After that we'll be officially on our own. For my part, I've convinced myself that I'm off on a 3 week holiday to China - I don't think about what comes next.
The next post, Great Firewall permitting, will be from China :-)
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